Hi!! I hope everyone had a great weekend! It's been really cold here so I stayed home cleaning and reorganizing the apartment.
Today, I'm here to talk about online dating!
Nowadays, everyone is always connected. It is hard to look around and not see someone with their phone; people are always online. And when it comes to online dating people are always checking if they have a new "match" or a new message.
I remember my first time using one of those apps. I was here on a trip to study musical theater. Since it was difficult for me to meet someone at a bar because, at the time, I did not speak English well so I always avoided talking in person. Meeting people online was the best way to learn English. After all, I was reading and writing and if I had any problems, I could just go to Google Translate.
When I came back, I had no doubt that I would use these apps to meet more people though most of the time, I was not looking for a relationship. Well, I came back to New York on Halloween 2015 and on January 13th I had a "match" that changed my life completely.
As most people already know, Mike and I met at OkCupid. I used to love to answering the questions so I could see the compatibility with the profile I was looking at. He was a 97% match. On top of that, he looked like Kit Harington (my celebrity crush!) in his profile picture, plus he had a picture of him dressed as Jon Snow. So from that moment, I knew I would marry him lol! Without thinking twice, I sent him a very long message: three paragraphs so he could know me better since I didn't write anything on my profile and he wrote A LOT. When he texted me back, we decided to meet at a bar. We spent a couple of days texting before we met in person (it's VERY important to make sure the person is real!). And today, here we are celebrating two years together, 6 months of marriage, and waiting for our baby.
But not all the stories are amazing when we talk about online dating. There are lots of scammers around the world ready to take advantage of more vulnerable people to get money. I always joke with friends to download dating apps, but it is extremely important to warn the dangers of a blind date and exchange personal information through messages.
Nowadays, all the apps have scammers. They use fake photos, always tell sad stories to gain compassion quickly and are very thoughtful. Most of the time they are in another country using the app's paid tools to go around and get more victims. But there are local scammers too, so no date without making sure the person is real first.
By the time I was using the app, I did not know about the existence of the scammers, and I can say that I was lucky. But after my mother did a research on these apps, I saw how dangerous it is and how many people still fall for that. In her novel Caminho de Volta, fragmentos de um amor virtual (only available in Portuguese), my mother writes about the pleasures and dangers of meeting people online.
It is not easy to know who is a scammer or not but there are some things you can do to protect yourself. First, only go to dates in public places with plenty of people around and always tell a friend or someone you trust where you are going and keep the person updated if you go somewhere else. Do not accept stranger's drinks. If you lose your glass for a moment, just go get another one, but do not take risks.
Now, if you have found a real person, who is awesome, and you like their company, just go for it! It is time to stop waiting for the first message. If you like someone, do not play games. And if it didn't work out, it's because it was not meant to be. It's okay! You will find someone else. It is better to know that a relationship didn't work out than the feeling of not knowing what might have happened if you had acted differently.
If you want to know more about Online Dating, let me know!
Kisses and have great week everyone!